The Story Of The Podium, The Microphone and The Light

Once upon a time I was doing a corporate show, where we had about 10,000 watts of PA, moving lights, 2000 people in the audience, and a podium.

Now, first understand that our podiums have two microphones, typically something like the EV PC18-XLR (pictured on the right), and our podiums all have a gooseneck light made by Littlite (pictured on the left)..

So the event begins with a speaker who has a wireless lavalier microphone. The theory being he will be walking around the stage, and with the wireless mic he won't be tethered to the podium. Great theory, right ? Not quite, because the first thing he does is walk up the podium and push the microphones down, and then proceeds to give his speech standing at the podium. This is not a problem, he has a wireless lav, I turn it up...everything's great...
This is the problem : first speaker now intros the next speaker (who does not have a wireless mic)...next speaker walks up to the podium..looks at the mics that are pushed down...pauses... pulls up the light...and begins his speech speaking into the light...needless to say there are now 2000 people, plus myself who can not hear a thing this guy is saying...the next speaker (who must have realized that the light was not a mic) walks up to podium...pauses...pulls the light closer, and begins speaking...meanwhile I am too far away from the stage to do anything except bang my head on the console...

Now, these are all CEO types, who I KNOW have given speeches, and you know.. talked into MICROPHONES!!!!!!!..

Anyway, I guess the moral of the story is : if it emits light IT IS NOT a freakin' MICROPHONE.

The End.