More News from Bizarro World

Pentagon Exam Calls Protests 'Low-Level Terrorism,' Angering Activists 

The written exam, given as part of Department of Defense employees’ routine training, includes a multiple-choice question that asks:

“Which of the following is an example of low-level terrorism?”

— Attacking the Pentagon

— IEDs

— Hate crimes against racial groups

— Protests

The correct answer, according to the exam, is "Protests."

Cash For Clunkers : Explained

Wondering about the Cash For Clunkers Program ? It all makes sense now :
From Big Hollywood :

You can trade in a car getting 18 miles per gallon or less for a car getting at least 22 mpg. But the voucher would grow to $4,500 if the new car’s mileage is 10 mpg higher. Now, if you own an old SUV, you could receive a $3500 voucher, if your new wheels ... Read more... 

reluctance to take Congress at its word on savings

Democrats’ $1-Trillion Health Care Plan to Cost 23 Million Americans Their Private Insurance, CBO Says
 

Best line :

"Dodd then complained that the CBO does not take Democrats’ plans for future cost savings into account when it calculates the cost of the bill, saying that the non-partisan office’s reluctance to take Congress at its word on savings assumptions skewed the final analysis."

Pestilence, PETA, and the President

• Thirteen cases of bubonic plague have been recorded in eastern Libya, near the border with Egypt,Health Minister Mohamad Hijazi told AFP on Wednesday , stressing the situation was under control. 

• Brazilian scientists have identified a new strain of the H1N1 virus after examining samples from a patient in Sao Paulo, their institute said Tuesday.

• PETA is finally going after President Barack Obama for delivering capital punishment to a housefly on the White House grounds yesterday -- a death that was caught on tape. When asked for comment, here's the statement PETA released: "He isn't the Buddha, he's a human being and human beings have a long way to go before they think before they act."

• Gerald Walpin, who until last week was the inspector general for the Corporation for National and Community Service...

"That's a total lie," Walpin said of the latter charge. And he said the accusation that he was dazed and confused at one meeting out of many was not only false, but poor rationale for his ouster."It appears to suggest that I was removed because I was disabled -- based on one occasion out of hundreds," he said, adding that the administration is grasping at "non-existent straws" to explain its actions."I would never say President Obama doesn't have the capacity to continue to serve because of his (statement) that there are 56 states," Walpin said, adding that the same holds for Vice President Biden and his "many express confusions that have been highlighted by the media."

Virginia DMV bans smiling

Virginia bans smiling.  

"As part of the DMV's effort to develop supersecure driver's licenses and foolproof ID cards, the agency has issued a smile ban, directing people to use a "neutral expression" in their portraits, thereby eliminating one of the few reasons to grin after waiting for one's number to be called"

- und zere vill be no smiling !!!

News from Bizarro World - Northern Edition

Woman to fight $420 fine for not holding subway handrail :

"MONTREAL - The Montreal woman who was handcuffed and fined $420 for not holding a subway station escalator handrail is planning to fight the tickets, saying she was treated like a "criminal" for trying to avoid germs."

und you vill hold ze handrails !!

News from Bizarro World

Ohio Patrol Cruisers Go Solar

"To conserve fuel and battery life, the fleet of nearly 1,200 Ford Crown Victorias is being equipped with 5-watt solar panels"

5 watts ? Did you say 5 watts ?

Obama's Green Guru Calls For White Roofs

""If you look at all the buildings and if you make the roofs white and if you make the pavement more of a concrete type of colour rather than a black type of colour and if you do that uniformally, that would be the equivalent of... reducing the carbon emissions due to all the cars in the world by 11 years – just taking them off the road for 11 years," he said."

A bucket of paint is all it takes...who knew ?

Did you see this deer ?

Columbus Dispatch : Ohio trying harder to steer deer off roads. There were 26,000 deer-vehicle crashes in 2007.

Boston Globe : Deer struck and killed on pike. From the same article : "Did you see this deer ? Send us your photos."