We are here to help...

Do not worry, you are in the best of hands. The Federal Government is here to help :

“But we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it*, away from the fog of the controversy*. Furthermore, we believe that health care reform, again I said at the beginning of my remarks, that we sent the three pillars that the President’s economic stabilization and job creation initiatives were education and innovation*—innovation begins in the classroom—clean energy and climate, addressing the climate issues in an innovative way to keep us number one and competitive in the world with the new technology, and the third*, first among equals I may say, is health care, health insurance reform. Health insurance reform is about jobs*. This legislation alone will create 4 million* jobs, about 400,000 jobs very soon."- The Speaker Of The House, Nancy Polosi

*More like the fog of insanity. - me

More News from Bizarro World

Pentagon Exam Calls Protests 'Low-Level Terrorism,' Angering Activists 

The written exam, given as part of Department of Defense employees’ routine training, includes a multiple-choice question that asks:

“Which of the following is an example of low-level terrorism?”

— Attacking the Pentagon

— IEDs

— Hate crimes against racial groups

— Protests

The correct answer, according to the exam, is "Protests."

Cash For Clunkers : Explained

Wondering about the Cash For Clunkers Program ? It all makes sense now :
From Big Hollywood :

You can trade in a car getting 18 miles per gallon or less for a car getting at least 22 mpg. But the voucher would grow to $4,500 if the new car’s mileage is 10 mpg higher. Now, if you own an old SUV, you could receive a $3500 voucher, if your new wheels ... Read more... 

Joe Biden Quotes

"Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am 

to be vice president of the United States of America. 

Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me." 

News from Bizarro World - Northern Edition

Woman to fight $420 fine for not holding subway handrail :

"MONTREAL - The Montreal woman who was handcuffed and fined $420 for not holding a subway station escalator handrail is planning to fight the tickets, saying she was treated like a "criminal" for trying to avoid germs."

und you vill hold ze handrails !!

News from Bizarro World

Ohio Patrol Cruisers Go Solar

"To conserve fuel and battery life, the fleet of nearly 1,200 Ford Crown Victorias is being equipped with 5-watt solar panels"

5 watts ? Did you say 5 watts ?

Obama's Green Guru Calls For White Roofs

""If you look at all the buildings and if you make the roofs white and if you make the pavement more of a concrete type of colour rather than a black type of colour and if you do that uniformally, that would be the equivalent of... reducing the carbon emissions due to all the cars in the world by 11 years – just taking them off the road for 11 years," he said."

A bucket of paint is all it takes...who knew ?

Did you see this deer ?

Columbus Dispatch : Ohio trying harder to steer deer off roads. There were 26,000 deer-vehicle crashes in 2007.

Boston Globe : Deer struck and killed on pike. From the same article : "Did you see this deer ? Send us your photos."